The next guy was an engineer who was definitely decent looking and seemingly normal from his profile, (but then again – don’t they all). He was in his 30’s, lived on his own, met his Aunt and Grandma for lunch (that’s cute, right?!). He did have a cat, but I figured a door could be left open. It happens. Before we even exchanged numbers he asked me out. While I like to get things moving, it made me a little nervous because no phone conversations means I do not have any indication or warning if there is a severe speech impediment like a stutter, lisp, etc. Not saying this would be a deal breaker – just nice to know before a face to face encounter so no one’s face gets laughed in! So we make plans to meet for dinner on a Sunday night. I do my usual, sit in my car, eyes glued to the door waiting for the guy to enter first. Finally, I emerge and we do introductions. Definitely a good looking guy and no speech impediment, we’re off to a good start! We had a wait at the restaurant, so I was a little nervous about how conversation would be standing in the entry way – but it was good. I wasn’t sure what to expect because sometimes his emails came across as very proper, using phrases like “I guess I’ll forgo that activity”. What?! But good news – he talked like a normal human being. Dinner was good, a couple long silences but not exactly uncomfortable. We talked about our jobs, families, etc. At the end of the night we hugged each other and I said it was great meeting him, which almost sent me into a fit of giggles because I’d just seen a movie where because boy told girl at the end of the date “Nice to meet you” it meant he wasn’t interested, it was considered a blow off.
So – overall I had a good time and decide I would be disappointed if I didn’t hear from him again.We did go out again. He wanted to take me to dinner “next Saturday”. Instantly my mind goes to the calendar and registers “holy crap – Saturday is Valentine’s Day”. No pressure there. But I also realized the holiday that is so important on a woman’s calendar probably hadn’t crossed his mind. I was right – the day before we were going out, we were talking on the phone and he admitted he just realized the following day was Valentines day and how busy everywhere would be. Saturday morning was a nightmare – I was okay when I first woke up but then I began feeling like I was having a panic attack. I was hot and sweaty; my heart was beating a million miles an hour. I thought I was going to be sick. The only reason “panic attack” came to mind was because I had experienced one recently. It didn’t make any sense though, the first date went fairly well. Where was this coming from? I was annoyed, terrified and tempted to cancel.
But I didn’t and when he came to pick me up he had three red roses – perfect! He admitted with it being Valentine’s Day and only the second date he really wasn’t sure what to do. I reassured him it was great and we set off for dinner. He was planning on the Texas Roadhouse, but being that it was V day, there was a 5 hour wait. Not so much. So we improvised and went to a bar I knew of since I used to live in the area. It was okay conversation, with the exception of him saying “ghetto” several times and too loud for the crowd we were in. As dinner went on and we continued to talk, I just wasn’t feeling it. Not to mention I still was not feeling well and therefore debating on bailing before the movie. But I’m a trooper and decided to stick it out. I did have a second thought when he started getting up from the table announcing “I gotta hit the head”. I’m sorry – what?! Are you at the bar with your buddies? What happened to Mr. “I guess I’ll forgo that activity”? I’ll take him back, please.
Anyhoo – he hit the head and then we hit the road. At the movie I relaxed a little, but not entirely. After he dropped me off at my apartment, still not sure what to make of the day, I decided to lean in for a kiss – not sure if it would land on the cheek, mouth or other – well, he turned his head and I got a very unfeeling, tight lipped kiss. Seriously people, I have felt more passion from my 90 year old grandmother. Aaaaand another one bites the dust. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t just the pathetic kiss – but the date as a whole – I just wasn’t feeling it. The next day I received a message from him that he was going to call me that night. Holy Hell – the minute I got in my car for the drive home from work I called my RE, “OK, we need a break-up line – help!” We settled on “Had a great time, but I don’t see this developing into anything other than a friendship – good luck.” Read: “don’t use the word ghetto in public and use the word “restroom” instead of “head”. I received a nice message back telling me although there was not a connection (mutual feeling?!) I had many qualities he was looking for.
I found out a week or so later that there was a flu bug going around with many of the symptoms I experienced the day of our second date – sweaty, anxious, sick to your stomach. Hmmm, oh well. All kidding aside, he was a nice guy, just not for me. Strike 3 for match.com. Well, it wasn’t long after, that Strike 2 resurfaced. It had been about three months since the stand-up and random text from The Man and His Dog that I rejoined Match. And soon after, while looking through my “Who’s Viewed Me” – I noticed his profile. My reaction: “You have got to be f’ing kidding me” – yup, right out loud to no one but myself and my computer. Turns out, he was not f’ing kidding.
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